We got married 8 years ago. Now as an Adventure Elopement Videographer, I look back and would do everything differently. And honestly, I did not enjoy it at all. I compromised on everything, spent so much money on stuff that didnt even matter to me, but felt like it was the "proper thing to do". At one point my parents said to us, if you want, we will give you all the money we would have spent on the wedding if you just elope. HA! I couldn't allow myself to do this-- not because I was looking forward to the wedding, but I think because I really had no idea what an elopement could be.
Now there are some awesome Adventure Elopements out there that truly inspire me. And I think, man, why didn't I do this? You can see some amazing Artists, like Justyna Butler whose work is so intimate and raw www.justynaebutlerphotography.com
This is what I should have done! Put on my hiking boots, hiked to a sunrise and eloped on top of a stunning mountain. The funny thing is, this is us! and yet, I think we are so stuck in the rut of what everyone else expects and what is normal that we didn't really say, " and what if I want to do things differently."
Here's the thing. At the time I was married, I had yet to develop a deep sense of my inner voice and didn't even know what I wanted. I find this a case with a lot of our brides.
And then there are those brides who think they have an inner voice simply because they are able to yell and demand everything to be perfect as they have always dreamed. This is a recipe for disaster. So.... what's the difference between being a bridezilla and clinging to your voice?
I think the key is knowing your true inner core values that go deeper than just the "stuff" you want for you wedding day. This is the key to having a fun day ( no stress ) and to organize your budget!
How do you do this?
First ask, What is your inner desires and values?
Now, its fine for you to write the first things that come into your mind. "Flowy dress, first look, braided hair, flowers that look like 'this'...." BUT If this is the end of your voice, you haven't found your voice. Instead, dear beautiful bride, go deeper and ask yourself "why". The answer to why is the key to your voice and the key to you having an amazing day, regardless of what happens.
So WHY is getting your hair done by someone professional important to you? Why are those flowers important to you? WHY is a first look? Why do you value this or that? How do those things you are investing in....invest back into who you are inside!
I value feeling beautiful, intimacy with my loved ones, nature and experiences. I do NOT value etiquette. LOL I hate it! I am all for being polite and compassionate but doing things "proper" for no real reason!
So after you find your core values--ask yourself before you spend money on that, does this congruent with my personal core values and will this investment invest back into me?
So for me: A large wedding takes away from my desire for intimacy with my love ones. We can have a large fun party later with everyone---but for my wedding day, I want intimacy.
My hair and makeup is congruent with my values. WHY? because I want to feel and look beautiful and celebrate our beauty as a couple. ( 8 years ago I never asked this question, and did my own hair and makeup and hated it. I did not feel pretty on my wedding day.)
Spending money on invitations? this is more about etiquette so not my thing.
The Venue: Very important to me. Why? Because being in nature and outside in the mountains is what makes my soul be at peace. Nature is our home. We love hiking, camping, and backpacking in the mountains. SO an outside venue is essential. ( 8 years ago, I never asked this question and we got married in a church in a city. )
The photographer: 8 years ago I picked a talented artist, but not knowing my 'why' I ended up choosing a style that did not match my own. I enjoy Raw, Unposed, Documentary and more Adventurous! I should have hired someone Justyna
See her image below! www.justynaebutlerphotography.com
The Videographer: Well... As an Adventure Elopement videographer, this one is a given right? Expect I didn't do this at all. I so regret not having someone film my wedding day. Someone to capture the audio, the laughter, the anxiety, our story.... To me, videography has a power that very few things have. You literally are able to freeze a moment in time in a small film that can transport you back to this time. 8 years ago, I didnt realize this and how important it is. Now that I have kids and see how fast they grow, I know. I have pictures of our kids, but when I go back and see the videos, OH MY GOSH! I hear their tiny shakey voices, I see the way the wobble as they walk, I see the little dances they have that a picture could never take me back to remember like this! If I had a video of my wedding day, I could see and relive all of this--the time before kids, the time of us, the time of our start.... and then share that with my own kids!
I think of videos like Tim and Grace Ann and know one day their kids will so enjoy it too.
But what I ended up doing because I did not ask, does this match my values? If it does not match your CORE values then don't invest!
This is why I am gearing my business as an Adventure Elopement Videographer towards things I also value! My couples are often similar, enjoying Hiking, nature, and intimacy.
Who am I? I am an Adventure Elopement Videographer, World Traveler, Backpacking fool, Destination Wedding Videographer, Mom of 2, Wife of one incredible man. Write me today to book! https://www.whitneymiltonfilms.com/prices/